Sometimes Self-Care Just Means Putting Yourself First

Sarahfina LoFaso
3 min readDec 10, 2019


It’s only spoken about when it looks glamorous. Like your feet propped up in the tub with candles lit around you. Or having a Netflix night with a glass of wine. Writing in your new journal to show you have some sort of outlet. Treating yourself to a mani-pedi or a meal you wouldn’t typically have because you deserve it after a long day. It’s only doable when others can see you’re doing it.

But no one talks about that night. That night where you turn to a glass or four of wine because you need to numb the pain. Or the baths you take because you need something bigger than yourself to surround your body just to calm down. The bad foods you binge eat because you’re so exhausted, cooking for yourself just isn’t an option. The self help book you begin to read again because you so badly need a change. The tyrant of cleaning you go on to work through those thoughts in your mind.

No one ever talks about those moments of self-care. Because those moments feel like they’re almost too late. Those moments happen when you neglect yourself for so long. When you put everyone and everything before your own needs. When you look at yourself in the mirror and barely recognize the person staring back at you. When you feel so empty inside because your life has been on autopilot for too long. You wake up, already tired from the day that has yet to begin. All the signs are there, of your wear and tear, yet you still don’t put yourself first.

So the cycle starts all over again. You feel better after some wine and junk food after finally saying no to plan and having a night in to yourself. The baths no longer feel mandatory, but more of something you look forward to. You continue to read that book and implement new habits into your daily routine. Before you know it, you’re back to normal and life doesn’t feel so chaotic anymore.

The solution is simple, yet we make it so complex. There is no right time to start putting yourself first. There is never going to be enough time in the day to put aside for yourself. So make the time. Put in the effort. Schedule a date with yourself, just like you do for everything else. Put yourself first.

Because at the end of the day, loved ones are everything. But the relationship you have with yourself, is really the only one that matters. She is the one you will forever wake up to, so cherish her. Love her. Respect her. Take care of her.

Originally published at on December 10, 2019.



Sarahfina LoFaso

Sarahfina is a published author and lifestyle blogger. She is working on her second novel, and you can find her work on